Tag Archives: funny

New Zealand, Oceania

Don’t forget to pack the pine trees!

Leave a comment
Flights, miscellaneous transportation, and accommodation are all booked. Now, we just have to get everything ready. Fazh finally found some good shoes to wear, and his back pack is due to arrive next week. I have the usual stuff to pick up, like bandaids and travel meds (Advil, Immodium, Polysporin etc.)

Fazh let me know he already has three travel bottles of shampoo to take. He has less hair than most, and it is only for 2 weeks; I’ll make him leave 2 shampoos at home. As the trip gets closer, he’s also becoming paranoid about situations that would be horrendous when traveling, like having bowel issues while on a bus trip. No one wants stomach problems while traveling–ever. To make matters worse, for the 7 hour bus trip we have one day, there is no toilet facilities on the bus. Here’s another great convo for you all:

Fazh: What happens if I have to go to the bathroom on the bus?
Me: Well it will stop about every 2 hours, so you shouldn’t have a problem.
Fazh: No. What happens if I HAVE TO GO?
Me: Well I guess you pee or poop your pants.
Fazh: I’ll bring a tarp and some wet wipes then.
Me: Maybe some Depends, and some air freshener because you’ll stink.
Fazh: Yes, you know those little trees, I’ll get some of those and stuff them down my shorts.
Me: The pine tree air fresheners?!?
Fazh: Yes, and they’ll be like, “WHO SHIT A TREE?!?!”

 

pine tree

So, because he’s worried about the bathroom situations (which aren’t an issue here, he goes out and about and functions like a normal human being) I asked him if he would be ok on a 2 hour trip under ground to check out Ruakuri Cave in Waitomo. I don’t know what kind of facilities are going to be available and he said…

Fazh: They’ll say, “Who pooped in the corner? It must have been the Canadian because there is a moose antler in it.”

Seriously, what have I signed myself up for?!?! I’m sure he’ll be happy I’m sharing this with the world, but it cracks me up. You should be able to have most of the full experience too.

New Zealand, Oceania

Charles, you don’t need that!

Leave a comment

So, you might know that I’m taking my dad (Fazh) to New Zealand in a little over 2 weeks. He’s gone a little nutty with excitement. Months ago I gave him Eyewitness New Zealand to read through. He started dog earring corners, and writing notes in the book, essentially making a list of things he wanted to see. This is his trip, so I’ll do my best to make sure as much of what he wants to see is included. Some of the requests created a logistical nightmare. We only have 2 weeks and he’s got about 2 months worth of stuff on the list.

Most important to him was seeing how kiwi fruit grows, seeing a Kauri tree logging harbour, seeing a sheep shearing, going to the glow worm caves, and seeing penguins. He also wants to take the InterIsland ferry and the TranzAlpine train. Then he decided that Milford Sound and the Moeraki Boulders would be good options as well. All of those things I’m alright with except for the logging industry. That wasn’t going to be logistically possible, and was promptly cut. (I also couldn’t make the TranzAlpine work. The Coastal Pacific works just fine though.)

I think the fruit is what he’s most excited for, it isn’t like we don’t have kiwi fruit in the supermarket here, and it isn’t like he has never see a sheep being shorn in Canada either. Who am I to argue?

As the trip gets closer, he gets sillier. Here’s a conversation from last week.

Me: We’re going to have to get you some snacks for the 7 hour bus ride we have one day so you don’t turn into a cranky bitch.
Fazh: Stock me up on marshmallows and licorice, and I’ll be fine.
Me: Uh, maybe we could get you a sandwich and a drink or something to pack with you instead of just sugar.
Fazh: Where are you going to get a sandwich there?

Like he has a steady diet of pure sugar here? Like there are no supermarkets in New Zealand? No bread, no sandwich supplies? Really?!?

And today he calls me at work:

Fazh: I have to go buy a backpack for the trip. I think I’m going to get something camouflage so that I can use it for hunting and fishing later.
Me: Ok, but you have to get something small. 30L or less. It has to be small enough for carry-on. I’ll take you shopping on Thursday after work so you can pick out something good.
Fazh: I have ear plugs for the plane. They have a string connecting them so I don’t lose them. And I’m going to pick up a Louis L’Amour book. They’re all the same–the cowboy will ride his horse around, do some shooting, run around for a while, kiss the girl and they’ll ride off into the sunset together. Those books are all the same. I’m going to buy one right now.

(FYI: He bought FOUR Louis L’Amour books today! Who brings 4 books on vacation? They weigh a fricken ton, and I’m being the luggage stickler forcing him to take only carry-on. Ol’ Louis might just have to sit this one out…or at least 3 of them will. Jeeze!)

And after work:

Me: Did you find a backpack?
Fazh: Yes, I looked at them. I saw one that looked comfortable.
Me: Did you try it on?
Fazh: No, you told me not to buy it unless you looked at it. I also saw some Merrell running shoes that looked comfortable. They had a deal buy 1 pair get 1 pair half off so they could have gotten $200 out of me.
Me: You know you can buy just 1 pair right?
Fazh: Well I didn’t buy any because you told me not to buy anything.
Me: …….

But the best part of the day, and for all of you who get this conversation, I hope you find it as funny as me. (FYI: he’s 62, able bodied, and does not limp.)

Fazh: I don’t want you yelling at me because I’m old. I don’t want you yelling at me because I’m limping around. I don’t want you yelling at me because I’m slow.
Me: I’ll yell at you, you’ve got a 20 minute time limit, move it along mister. I’m gonna yell at you if you so much as think about eating an extra cookie.
Fazh: Then I’ll start calling you JOAN!*
Me: Charles you don’t need that!

Moral of the story, I might go cuckoo.

*Joan is my Grandma’s name. She’s the food police with my Grandpa.

Asia, Vietnam

Hello Hanoi!

Leave a comment
Because of our scheduled trip to Ha Long Bay, we didn’t have much time to explore Hanoi. As with any metropolitan area, a day is often more than enough time before people/traffic become an issue. NOTHING can prepare someone for Vietnamese traffic! There is no way to describe it short of organized chaos. We learned the specific technique for crossing the street which was just start walking, and keep walking slow and steady, don’t change speed, and don’t stop until you get to the other side. Stepping off the curb into traffic is scary business.
Hoan Kiem Lake The Huc Bridge
Hoan Kiem Lake The Huc Bridge
Luckily, our hotel was within walking distance of everything we wanted to see for the day. We started at Hoan Kiem Lake and The Huc bridge. We managed to visit the Temple of Literature, checked out St. Joseph’s Cathedral, that was modeled after the Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris, saw some sights, and visited an indoor market. I did take some interesting photos along the way. The wire work was astounding. FYI: We didn’t try the Creative Oriental Craft Kingdom.
Lost in Translation
Regina Pacis Hanoi
St Joseph’s Cathedral Hanoi
Vietnamese Wiring
Update

99…100…101!

Leave a comment

Wow, who would have thought I’d ever fill up a travel log with over 100 posts? And, that it would end up actually being read by a few people–really several thousand people, which I find kind of creepy. Thanks to stats, I know that the most visited entry is actually El Sabor del Peru (716 visits this month alone–that’s just weird!). And, the most bizarre search so far “eat road kill in Wyoming.” People look for some crazy stuff on the interwebs.

For the Asian Escapades, I try to update on a regular basis. Who knows what access or cel reception will be like to post, but I’ll try.

Stay tuned my little minions…

 

Asia, Cambodia, Thailand, Update, Vietnam

Strange Currencies

Leave a comment
No, I’m not going to bust out the lyrics to the song, I’m gonna talk about money! Little known fact: I like collecting currency when we’re on vacation. Not so much the bills, but the coins. This isn’t about amassing a foreign fortune, but it does work well with the photo projects when we return home.

Obviously, I have to do a little pre-trip research before we leave to make sure I know what I’m after. The best part is in Vietnam I will be collecting DONG! Giggle away my little minions; that’s funny as hell!The exchange rate is approximately 20,000 Vietnamese Dong to $1US. I think it’ll be crazy to be paying for items with 50,000₫ notes. (That’s only about $2.50.) Also try wrapping your head around being able to take out a maximum of 2,000,000₫ from a bank machine. Apparently, that’s the machine limit. (That’s about $95!)

The least valued currency for exchange alternated between the Zimbabwean Dollar and the Vietnamese Dong for a while. Now the least valued currency is that of Somalia with the Vietnamese Dong running 2nd. Thanks VietnamWiki for the photo. Vietnamese Dong

The Cambodian Riel is approximately 4010៛ to $1US. Unlucky for me the coins are rarely used. That could be a bit of a struggle collecting them. The Thai Baht is about 30฿ to $1US. Gotta love travelling with exchange rates like that. It definitely helps the bank account!

FYI: All of this learning, and now I know a lot of currencies are actually descendants of the Spanish Pieces of 8. How very Piratey! Arrrr!

Peru, South America

Beersplosion!

Leave a comment

We met some interesting people on the train to Aguas Calientes. Our tickets were consecutive but we weren’t seated together. Jon ended up sitting next to a guy named Craig. Apparently, he has been to every state in the USA and is now working on every Province in Canada. I was seated in a group of 4 with Andy and Angela and a nice Peruvian man. And Craig’s friends Michael and Michael were seated across the aisle with Andy and Angela’s friend Chad. (That seems as confusing as the role call scene from Ferris Beuler’s Day Off!)

Turns out Andy, Angela and Chad were staying at the same hostel as us in Cusco. And, Craig, Michael and Michael were staying at the same hostel in Aguas Calientes. Small world that Peru! They were all from the US East Coast and 3 had been skiing at Sun Peaks before.

Ok so that is a lot of backstory…the 3 dudes were in Peru for 4 days. Just a quick little weekend trip to Machu Picchu! We are pretty sure the two keep Michael around just for his humour and/or his Spanish skills.

Mid-train ride Michael dropped a bottle of beer out of his jacket. The beer started fizzing out the top; instead of wait for the fizz to die down, he opened the beer into a lovely Cusqueña explosion. Talk about an ice breaker. “And the sad part is that I’m a scientist!”

On the way to the hostel we made formal introductions so we could stop calling Michael “Beersplosion.” Turns out he’s a huge Matthew Good fan which led to talk about Canadian music. “Thanks a lot for Nickelback!” He and Jon also share the same hatred for Bieber. Kindred spirits immediately.

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network